A Nerd Turns Fifty

“The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

I turned fifty years old this month. Despite being that old, I still don’t really feel like an adult. Sure, I have to do “old guy” things like go to the doctor more often, pay a ton of bills, and try to navigate in a world where I’m too young to be a grumpy old man, but too old to be hip and young. Of course, I was never hip, and I don’t see myself becoming magically cool any time soon, but I feel as if I’m in a transitional stage where I’m losing interest in new things and clinging to the stuff of my youth.

I find myself watching a mix of classic shows that I grew up with and newer shows from the early 2000s in a constant rotation. If I’m at home and not watching football (soccer), I’m most likely watching Seinfeld, The Big Bang Theory, Cheers, Home Improvement, Two And A Half Men, Three’s Company, or some other sitcom that I’ve seen a million times before and will watch yet again. If I’m watching a movie, it’s usually a classic like Jaws, Jurassic Park, Tombstone, Dazed And Confused, or The Legend Of Boggy Creek.

In the last few years, the company that I work for has made major changes, including dissolving the job that I held for over twenty years. In an attempt to make a ton of money in a short amount of time, the company has put all of its employees, including loyal ones such as myself, into lower tier, more physical jobs so that they can put out maximum product for maximum profits. As a result, I’ve been working longer hours and writing fewer posts on this blog. I’ve become bitter, as if the company has cheated myself and other employees who worked hard to get into positions where we could do the best work, only to be tossed back into entry-level positions. It makes me (and others) wonder why we tried to move up in the company, only to be back where we started. I have other issues with the company, but I won’t talk about them here. I just can’t wait until I can retire.

For four years now, I’ve been the co-host of the Filmsquatch podcast. It has been fun working on this project and I hope that it continues. I’ve gained quite a few new friends since starting this project with Patrick Bennett and have had a number of cool opportunities to talk with some very interesting people. Along with this podcast, I’m also involved with the Lake Charles Film Festival, Calcasieu Parish Short Film Festival, and SerialFest. I still attend as many pop culture and horror conventions as I can, but it’s proving to become more difficult due to work and other duties and responsibilities. Plus, money is getting tighter for everyone.

I still love superheroes and collecting action figures, but my time is stretched considerably thin these days. As a result, I’m not able to keep up with pop culture as much as I’d like to no matter how hard I try. I’m tired. I just wish that I could slow things down a bit.

So that this entire post isn’t doom and gloom, I thought that I might mention a few other things that turn fifty this year. In music, KISS’ Destroyer and Rock And Roll Over albums both turn fifty, as does the Ramones debut album. In film, movies such as Rocky, Carrie, and Logan’s Run all share the same birth year with me. Celebrities that turn fifty this year include the lovely Isla Fisher, the funny Gabriel Iglesias, the cool Cillian Murphy, the friendly Jon Bernthal (seriously, I met him and he’s awesome), and the breathtaking Sarah Chalke.

I guess that I’ll continue to get older. It’s something that I can’t stop, so why worry about it, right? I hope that this post doesn’t upset folks, but if it does, just leave me a comment and I promise to respond. Turning fifty is supposed to be awesome, but life has been kind of tough lately and I’m in survival mode. Thanks for reading my post, and enjoy the gallery below of things I’m still clinging to from my past.

Banbo Toys Sockers

Let me be the voice of reason…..

Okay, let me start off by saying that I am a member of an exclusive review group with access to items that I receive in return for an honest and thorough review. I’m sure that most of you can figure out which review group this is but, for legal reasons, I’m not going to name names. That said, I have to come out and admit that reviews for a specific toy line seem to be skewing positively for reasons that I have yet to comprehend.

The toy line that I’m talking about is the Banbo Toys Sockers 8″ action figure line. These figures, which feature players from national teams and clubs from across the globe, have been receiving high praise in certain circles. The problem, at least for me, is that all of these reviews highlight the exact things that I find terribly wrong with these figures. Reviews include comments such as “highly collectible,” “great value for the money,” “amazing likeness,” and “wonderful for children.” They also wax poetic about the great articulation and the hours of fun that children will have playing with these toys.

I just don’t get it.

So let me explain……

These figures are terrible. At roughly forty United States bucks a pop, they’re also a rip off for buyers. Each and every figure has the same body. Banbo just slaps a different kit and a different noggin on each one. Granted, I actually do like the looks of many of these kits, but the head sculpts are atrocious, especially for the asking price. Also, since the bodies are all the same, there is no variation in the player’s heights. In other words, Christian Pulisic is just as tall as Declan Rice despite the fact that Pulisic is listed at 5′ 10″ and Rice is billed as being 6′ 2″ tall. As an adult collector, this bugs me. So does the fact that many of the figures have had legs pop off while removing them from their boxes. Oh, and if your favorite player has tattoos, don’t expect to find them on these figures. They feel very cheaply made but have a rather big asking price.

But wait, Ken, you might be saying, aren’t these figures geared at children? Well, the price point says otherwise in my opinion. Also, if they are aimed at kids, what kid wants to play with a figure that comes with twelve points of limited articulation and ZERO articulation at the hips where, ya know, football players need to move in order to kick the ball sometimes????? On top of that, why would a parent drop forty bucks on a figure that has just a few points of articulation more (and poorer sculpts) than those twelve inch Marvel Titan figures that you can get for around ten dollars?

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Spidey is thirty dollars cheaper than Martin Odegaard and ten times more fun to play with in action figure form.

Banbo Toys has been making these figures for awhile now, but there has been a massive push to move these toys in recent months due to the 2026 World Cup. That’s a great idea by Banbo, who offers multiple players in their nation’s kits and still crank out players it kits for clubs like Arsenal, Tottenham, Club America, Real Madrid, and more, but it also comes across a tad bit desperate. It’s like they know that these figures are lame and they want to move as much product as they can because there are probably some other toy companies lining up to get licenses to produce soccer/football action figures as well and they will probably be of much better quality.

Is Richarlison attempting a bicycle kick…..or just sad and laying on the ground?

I’ll include a gallery at the bottom of this post showing just how terrible the face sculpts are for these figures. I really hate ragging on a product, especially a product that I really, really want to be good, but I cannot recommend purchasing any of these figures. Take a look at the gallery and let me know. Also, if you are aware of a company that makes betters figures, please tell me in the comments.

Thanks for checking out my post. I’m sorry for putting Banbo on blast, but the quality of these figures and the praise-filled reviews feel misleading.

Fanboys (2009)

“What if the movie sucks?”

Fanboys takes us into the wild world of a group of hardcore Star Wars “fanboys” who are intent on helping their dying friend see a rough cut of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace before he passes away. In order to do this, the group has to navigate cross-country to Skywalker Ranch, George Lucas’ working film ranch. As with any road comedy film, the gang encounters a number of interesting groups and individuals and get themselves into crazy situations. The film was released in 2009 and seems to have become something of a divisive film due to its troubled production and attachment to people like Harvey Weinstein, Harry Knowles, and Kevin Spacey, all of whom have been accused of and/or found guilty of multiple sexual offenses.

While I won’t go in-depth on the film’s production troubles, I will say that it faced quite the uphill climb to get released. Weinstein demanded re-shoots to add raunchier scenes and demanded that the film’s cancer subplot be removed. The director of the original cut of the film, Kyle Newman, as well as fans of Star Wars, fought to keep the cancer subplot in the film and Weinstein and re-shoots director Steven Brill ultimately caved. As a result of the chopped up nature of the final cut of the movie, its pacing and humor suffer.

Troubles aside, the film is still pretty funny. It features a ton of cameos from across pop culture, and a few from the Star Wars franchise itself. Seth Rogen pulls triple duty as a Star Trek fan named Admiral Seasholtz, a Star Trek Convention guard referred to as Alien, and a massive Star Wars fan….who happens to also be a pimp, named Roach. Other cameos include Kevin Smith, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Ray Park, Ethan Suplee, Jaime King, and Danny McBride, among others. I don’t won’t to reveal the biggest cameo of them all, just know that it’s a funny surprise.

The film’s main cast includes Dan Fogler, Jay Baruchel, Kristen Bell, Sam Huntington, and Chris Marquette. Other cast members include Christopher McDonald, David Denman, and Allie Grant. Fogler does a pretty good job as Hutch in the film, whipping out quote after quote from the Star Wars films. Baruchel is funny as the socially awkward Windows, who is looking for love online and excited to find out that he’ll be meeting his online girlfriend, Rogue Leader, on the cross country trip. Bell steals most of the scenes that she is in as Zoe, and is a perfect mimic of Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia in the original trilogy. Huntington is essentially the straight man of the group, Eric, and Marquette rounds the gang out Linus, the terminally ill fanboy who is the entire reason for the group’s roadtrip.

I enjoyed Fanboys. Of course, I love Star Wars (and Star Trek) and love it when both franchises are the targets of some good-natured humor. The film might fall a little flat with folks that have no interest or happen to be unfamiliar with Star Wars, however, and in that case, it’s nothing more than an average road comedy. Oh, and I’m sure a ton of red-blooded Star Wars fans tuned into this film only to see Kristen Bell in the Slave Leia costume so…..here ya go:

Thanks for checking out my review. May the Force be with you!

Cult Classic: Night Of The Comet (1984)

“Daddy would have gotten us Uzis.”

With a perfect blend of horror, humor, and science fiction, Night Of The Comet (1984) is easily one of the best end-of-the-world films from the 1980s. Writer/Director Thom Eberhardt dumps the audience directly into the film from the the very beginning and allows the viewer to ride along with the Belmont sisters as they try to survive in a world where zombies roam, humans are scarce, and many of them can’t be trusted. The movie is a great time capsule for early 1980s culture as well, and I absolutely love it.

In the film, Earth passes through the tail of a comet that previously crossed the planet’s path sixty-five million years earlier and is believed to have contributed to the extinction of the dinosaurs. Reggie Belmont (Catherine Mary Stewart) decides to spend the evening of the comet’s passing with her boyfriend in the projection room of the theater she works at while her sister, Sam (Kelli Maroney) gets into a fight with their stepmother and sleeps off the argument in a shed. When Reggie wakes up the next morning, she discovers a world where almost all humans and animals have turned into red dust and a few have mutated into murderous zombies. Reggie’s boyfriend is quickly dispatched by one of the zombies and Reggie makes her escape on his motorcycle, hoping to find her sister and others alive and well.

The sisters reunite and decide to head to the local radio station where a DJ is playing the latest hits of the 80s. When they arrive, however, they learn that the program is pre-recorded. They also run into Hector (Robert Beltran), a trucker who spent the night inside his rig, safe from the comet. The trio then make contact with a research facility located in the desert. Hector decides to check on his mother and while waiting for him, Reggie and Sam visit the local mall for a fashion montage. Unfortunately for them, zombified workers at the mall take them prisoner, planning to have a little fun with them before the kill them. Thankfully, the research team shows up just in time to save the girls and Reggie is trucked off to the research center while Sam is left behind with a couple of the research scientists in order to wait for Hector to return. Once Reggie arrives at the facility, however, she notices that the researchers aren’t necessarily on a rescue mission. Can Reggie, Sam, and Hector survive in this fresh, new dystopia? Check out Night Of The Comet to find out what happens!

This film is awesome. It’s one of my favorite science fiction/horror/comedies of all time. While it appears that Reggie (Stewart) is meant to be the star, Sam (Maroney) steals the show. Maroney’s comedic timing is brilliant and you can’t help but cheer on her and Reggie as they navigate their new world. Beltran does a great job as Hector as well, with his encounter with a security guard at the research facility and his role in the film’s climax being two of the best moments in the film. Stewart does a great job as the “straight man” in her comedy duo with Maroney. The rest of the cast give excellent performances as well, especially Geoffrey Lewis as one of the research scientists and Mary Woronov as another of the facility’s researchers.

Eberhardt proves that a low budget is perfectly fine to make an excellent film if you know how to use it. He told his cast to react in character any time that something went wrong in order to cut down on the number of retakes, and these reactions, especially those of Maroney, are what make this film so wonderful. The film has good music, amazing cinematography, and some great action sequences. It’s lightning in a bottle!

I highly recommend this film. It’s funny, creepy at times, and all around just a wonderful low-budget flick. Make sure to check it out and let me know what you think about it! Thanks for checking out my review!

Return To Sleepaway Camp (2008)

“Why can’t they leave me alone?”

Despite financial issues that went back nearly a decade and the occasional natural disaster, Return To Sleepaway Camp managed to be released direct to video in 2008. The film is a direct sequel to the cult classic Sleepaway Camp (1983). The film features the return of the original film’s writer and director, Robert Hiltzik, original film actors Jonathan Tiersten and Paul DeAngelo, and (spoiler alert) the triumphant return of Felissa Rose to the role of Angela Baker! The film also features Vincent Pastore, Isaac Hayes (in a small role), Adam Wylie, Erin Broderick, Kate Simses, Jackie Tohn, and Michael Gibney.

In the film, troubled camper Alan (Gibney) is the victim of relentless bullying at the hands of his fellow campers. He dishes out quite a bit of his own mischief as well, but the other campers (and some of the staff) humiliate him at every turn. As the film moves along, people begin to die in strange ways. When bodies start to pile up, Sheriff Jerry is brought in to investigate the killings. Ronnie (DeAngelo), who was a camp counselor at Camp Arawak when Angela Baker went on her brutal killing spree, believes that Angela has returned. Everybody else has different theories as to what is going on at the camp. Is Angela back to kill again? Perhaps her cousin, Ricky, has picked up her cause? Watch Return To Sleepaway Camp to find out who the killer really is!

This film is bad. I hate to say it because I love the original film and have grown fond of the two Sleepaway Camp sequels, Unhappy Campers and Teenage Wasteland, starring Pamela Springsteen in the role of Angela. Those two films went a little heavier on the humor than the original film, but they were still enjoyable for the most part. I have not seen Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor, so I cannot comment on that particular film at the moment. It was nice to see Felissa Rose, even if it was briefly, back on the screen and I also appreciated the return of Tiersten and DeAngelo. None of the kids in the film are likeable, but I did enjoy counselors Petey (Simses) and Linda (Tohn), although they portrayed characters on different ends of of the spectrum. Petey was quick to defend Alan whenever he screwed up and eventually becomes a suspect in the murders. Linda feels a lot like the original film’s Judy (Karen Fields). Had that character survived the first film, I believe that Linda is exactly who that character would have become.

The practical effects are pretty good and the kills are okay, but overall this film feels like something that could have been so much better. The acting is hit-and-miss and the reveal at the end lacks the punch of the original movie’s legendary reveal. If you just have to watch every Sleepaway Camp film, give it a look. If you love Felissa Rose, watch it. Otherwise, this isn’t a film that I necessarily recommend.

Thanks for checking out my review. I hope to continue posting more often as this year continues.

Calcasieu Parish Short Film Festival

“Avast, me hearties!”

On May 30, 2026 at the Brimstone Museum Annex located at 923 South Ruth Street in Sulphur, LA, the Calcasieu Parish Short Film Festival returns for its ninth year! This year will feature an excellent selection of short films from all over the United States. Selections have been announced in the official schedule and are being individually listed on the festival’s Facebook page. The Facebook page is also where you can find out all of the other information about the event, including contact information and GPS coordinates to the event.

Along with the regular short film presentations throughout the day, the Filmsquatch Podcast will be presenting a special block of Bigfoot-themed short films including co-host Patrick Bennett’s own project Ta-Tai Maudit. The podcast’s other co-host, myself, will be presenting a panel about Bigfoot’s cinematic history. The festival will also feature a special One Hundredth Anniversary screening of “The Battling Kangaroo.”

Be sure to join me and everybody else at southwest Louisana’s first and best short film festival! There’s also still time to to enter the festival’s Forty-Eight Hour Film Sprint. Visit the festival Facebook page for more information! I hope that I get to see you there!

Classic Cinema: Stranger From Venus (1954)

“I am drunk, or you are dead.”

Whether you call it Stranger From Venus, The Venusian, or Immediate Disaster, this pleasantly reserved 1954 science fiction drama is an extremely well done film with a direct message that resembles the same message from 1951’s The Day The Earth Stood Still. It features a small but exceptional cast and well-paced direction from Burt Balaban. The film stars Patricia Neal (who also appeared in The Day The Earth Stood Still), Helmut Dantine, and Derek Bond, with a supporting cast that includes Willoughby Gray, Cyril Luckham, and Marigold Russell.

The film tells the story of a mysterious stranger that arrives in what appears to be the United Kingdom, requesting an audience with all of the world’s leaders, intending to deliver a warning to the planet, in order to save the entire solar system. When he lands on Earth, his craft unintentionally mortally wounds Susan North (Neal), so he heals her and heads to a local inn, where he makes his request to meet with our planet’s leaders. When the local government and a nosy reporter get involved, however, they attempt to use the information received from the stranger in order to take full control of the planet. Do things pan out for the wicked men of Earth, or is the stranger simply setting up a sinister plan to take over our world? Watch Stranger From Venus to find out what happens.

This character-driven film is more drama than science fiction. Susan struggles with falling in love with the stranger (Dantine) or choosing to remain with her soon-to-be-betrothed boyfriend, Arthur Walker (Bond). Walker has to decide whether he wants to do what is best for the planet or for his country. His choice could decide the fate of the entire planet. The rest of the cast is excellent. Of particular note is Cyril Luckham being quite enjoyable as Dr. Meinard and the lovely Marigold Russell charming her way through scenes as Gretchen Harding, the innkeeper’s daughter. The special effects are limited, but sufficient for a 1950’s science fiction film that actually plays out much better than its contemporaries.

Yes, the comparisons to The Day The Earth Stood Still are justified. It may not be as good as that film but, at least in my opinion, it’s pretty darn good. Check out Stranger From Venus for yourself and let me know what you think of it in the comments section.

Thanks for checking out my review!

Classic Cinema: Phantom From Space (1953)

“There wasn’t any head in that helmet!”

Phantom From Space isn’t a bad film. It isn’t a good film, either. Instead, it’s…..just another film about an alien invader that never really gets going. It gets bogged down in excessively long scenes cluttered with dialogue. There is some action in the film, but none of it really ends in a satisfying way. To top it all off, the film’s conclusion hits with a dull thud. It’s quite a boring film, but it does have a few good things going for it.

What works in this movie is the performances of its stars, Ted Cooper and Noreen Nash. This duo, who are part of a team attempting to capture a mysterious visitor from another world who travels around in a highly radioactive suit (and also happens to be invisible when not wearing the suit), go out of their way to give excellence performances in an otherwise slow and plodding film. The rest of the cast is okay, but none of them perform at the same level as Cooper and Nash. The plot is also very good, but executed in the most bland way possible. The alien is interesting enough, but he doesn’t get much time to shine in the film.

I don’t dislike this film, but it’s just too boring to recommend to viewers. If you have a little over an hour to kill and want to watch folks smoke A LOT of cigarettes and discuss alien visitation, this is your film. If you want anything else, pass on Phantom From Space.

Thanks for checking out my review. I know that this one is shorter than usual, but there’s really not much to say about this film.

Classic Cinema: The Giant Claw (1957)

“Oh, nothing so domestic as a flying saucer. Just a flying battleship.”

Slammed by critics at the time, 1957’s The Giant Claw may have one of the goofiest looking monsters of all time, but I really enjoy this movie. Born in the Atomic Age of film, the movie gives us the story of a giant vulture-like bird terrorizing the world and a small band of scientists, mathematicians, military leaders, and a hotshot aeronautical engineer that are desperately trying to stop it. The plot features the standard tech talk that was rampant in 50’s science fiction and quite a few violent deaths that I suspect could have been quite scary for youngsters to witness.

The film stars Jeff Morrow as Mitch MacAfee, a civil aeronautical engineer that is assisting the military with radar testing, and Mara Corday as mathematician Sally Caldwell, who is working alongside Mitch and the military. The rest of the cast includes Morris Ankrum (Lt. General Considine), Edgar Barrier (Dr. Noymann), and Robert Shayne (General Van Buskirk). The film also features Lou Merrill as Pierre Broussard, a French Canadian farmer who helps Mitch and Sally and believes that the giant bird is La Carcagne, a legendary creature that, if seen by a person, is a harbinger of death.

The creature initially attacks aircraft, but when Mitch discovers its flight pattern, all planes are grounded and the creature begins attacking any and everything on the ground. Some of the attacks are especially violent, in particular the murder of a group of men investigating the sightings, who are eaten one by one as they attempt to parachute to safety when their plane is attacked. There is also a big battle in Manhattan, showing many of the city’s famous buildings being destroyed or damaged by the creature.

Sure, the creature looks ridiculous, but the story itself is very good. The creature is protected by an antimatter shield that our fearless team must find a way to penetrate in order to stop the flying beast. The entire cast does a fine job in their roles. Just look past the marionette creature and you will most likely enjoy this film.

The Giant Claw is a hokey, fun ride that fans of classic science fiction will enjoy. It has decent plot, excellent performances from the cast, and a truly unforgettable, hilarious-looking giant bird. Give it a shot, you might like it.

Thanks for checking out my review.

Shiver Me Timbers (2025)

“Chainsaws are for children.”

The final Popeye-inspired horror film in 2025 was Shiver Me Timbers. It’s also the best or worst of the trio depending on who you ask. While I don’t consider it the best, I don’t believe that it is necessarily the worst. The plot is ridiculous. The acting is sketchy at best. The film has entirely too many bad CGI effects. All of these things are true, but Shiver Me Timbers plays out knowing full well that it’s a bad movie and for that, I have to respect it just a little bit.

It’s (supposed to be 1986) and a group of young adults are heading out to the coast to witness the rare Halley’s Comet meteor shower. They briefly encounter a fisherman on the way to their campsite, almost hitting him with their car. They apologize and he goes along about his business, excited for the good fishing he expects that evening. The group then encounters a homeless man being harassed by ne’er-do-wells and they help him. When they finally arrive at the campsite, they do all of the normal things that young adults do in films of this nature. They drink alcohol, smoke weed, dance, and then split up so that they can easily be picked off by the local slasher. That local slasher turns out to be the old fisherman whenever a piece of a meteor lands in his corncob pipe and causes him to mutate into a violent killing machine.

Shiver Me Timbers is really, really bad. The heavy reliance on CGI takes away from the overall comedic tone of the film and the goriness of the kills. All of the kills are over-the-top, but not as funny as they could have been with better direction and practical effects. The acting is subpar and the pothead humor will only be funny to potheads while they are smoking pot. Most of the characters are forgettable, with the exception of Olive Oyl, who manages to be the most interesting character in the film. She is portrayed by Amy Mackie. The only other actor worth mentioning is Niamh Parrington as Cylinda, one of Olive’s friends and a mild love interest of Castor, Olive’s brother. Popeye is portrayed by David Hallows (old fisherman) and Tony Greer (killer fisherman).

Mackie (L) with Parrington in an interview.

As bad as Shiver Me Timbers may be, it appears to be quite comfortable with what it is: a B-movie intentionally being as bad as it can be. For that, I have to give the film a mild thumbs up. It doesn’t take itself seriously at all and never tries to be more than a bad film. It also gives a sweet nod to Army Of Darkness and that’s mighty fine of them in my book.

If you want to watch a bad movie that relishes in its badness, Shiver Me Timbers is for you. You definitely have to be in a specific mood to enjoy this film. I personally recommend Popeye The Slayer Man over this film and Popeye’s Revenge, but I know that there is a select audience for Shiver Me Timbers. A sequel is in the works and it will bring Tarzan and Betty Boop into the fray. Will it be just as terrible? Probably. Amy Mackie will be reprising her role as Olive Oyl. No word on whether or not any of the other survivors will show up for the sequel.

Thanks for checking out my review.