TODOH #8: Near Dark (1987)

“Park your carcass!”

Released just a few months after the much more successful The Lost Boys, Near Dark wasn’t a massive smash in 1987, but it found its fanbase on home video and cable television. I didn’t discover the film until the early 2000s, and it has become a favorite of mine. Much like The Lost Boys, it is a horror film featuring a family of vampires and their most recent recruit has fallen in love with her latest victim. He is being tested by the group to determine whether or not he is worthy to become part of the family. There’s a kid vampire in both films as well, but the one in Near Dark is an old, cranky man trapped in a young boy’s body. To top it all off, the potential recruit’s family has gone on the hunt to stop the vampires and save him….but that’s where the similarities end.

The vampire family in Near Dark is nomadic, gritty, and, in all honesty, a lot more violent than the pretty boys in The Lost Boys. The Near Dark vampires look and act like they’ve been through a lot. The vampire family’s leader, Jesse (Lance Henriksen), isn’t an electronics store owner, he’s a former Confederate soldier who is teaching his family how to survive in the world of the living. His second in command is Diamondback (Jenette Goldstein), who also happens to be his lover. The youngest vampire in the group, who also happens to be the oldest member, is the grumpy Homer (Joshua John Miller). The newest member of the family is Mae (Jenny Wright), who is still adjusting to her role in the group. The muscle of the group is Severen (Bill Paxton), Jesse’s longtime friend. Adrian Pasdar plays Caleb, Mae’s victim who is attempting to join the group.

The film is a grea blend of horror and western with a little bit of family bonding thrown in for good measure. It’s a violent film with some great action and a heaping helping of gore. I first reviewed the film here, so read that if you’d like a little more information about the film. The cool kids love The Lost Boys (justifiably so), but don’t miss out on the brutal coolness of Near Dark.

Thanks for checking out my review! See you tomorrow!

TODOH #7: Prom Night (1980)

“They killed her…..they killed her!”

Opening with the tragic death of young Robin Hammond, Prom Night (1980) sets up a twisted game that takes place exactly six years later on, you guessed it, prom night at Alexander Hamilton High School. The film, created as an attempt to cash in on the success of other slashers such as Halloween (which set the stage for Jamie Lee Curtis’ career as a scream queen), features some amazing practical effects work with believable kills based around a killer who is definitely not a professional murderer. In fact, the killer is a lot like Ghostface in the original Scream film, stumbling around and often making mistakes, but always making the kill.

The film starred Jamie Lee Curtis, Leslie Neilsen, Eddie Benton, Michael Tough, Casey Stevens, Mary Beth Rubens, David Mucci, Pita Oliver, and Antoinette Bower. It features one of the most sympathetic slashers you’ll ever meet, and one of my favorite slashers from the genre as a whole. The movie also features an amazing disco soundtrack created by Paul Zaza and Carl Zittrer that was written in roughly five days whenever production notified director Paul Lynch that they couldn’t afford the licensed songs that were used while shooting the film. It has every single 80s slasher genre trope including a slasher with a motive, teens losing their virginity and then losing their lives soon after, female nudity, tons of misdirection, jump scares, a final girl that everyone cheers for, and a prime suspect that isn’t a suspect at all.

Prom Night has grown to become one of my favorite horror films. I originally saw it about five years ago and have returned to it many times since then. The more that I watch it, the more I appreciate how well executed it is as a slasher film. Despite being similar to every other cookie-cutter slasher out there, this one rises above the rest for me.

Thanks for checking out today’s Thirty-One Days O’Horror review!

TODOH #6: Jaws (1975)

“Tell them I’m going fishing.”

Today’s Thirty-One Days O’Horror entry is not only one of my favorite movies, it’s the film that triggered a worldwide fear of sharks and the ocean. It gave us the legendary quote, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” We all felt the pain of Mrs. Kintner when she confronted Brody about the death of her son. It was the first bonafide summer blockbuster film. It has a theme song that sends chills down everybody’s spine. It’s…..dunh…..dunh…..dunh……dunh……Jaws!

The 1975 film, based upon the Peter Benchley book of the same name, has a very simple premise: A massive great white shark is terrorizing the locals on Amity Island during Fourth of July festivities and the mayor doesn’t want to close down the beach because tourist money is crucial to the town. The local police chief, Martin Brody (Roy Scheider), teams up with a salty seadog named Quint (Robert Shaw) and an oceanographer named Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) to stop the shark themselves and everybody is afraid to go into the water.

The film was one of director Steven Spielberg’s earliest efforts and established him as a miracle worker based upon the countless production horror stories with the mechanical shark that constantly failed and all of the issues with shooting a film in the ocean. Despite the difficulties of making the film, Jaws proved to be a massive success. John Williams’ score won an Academy Award even though Spielberg laughed at Williams when he first presented the now legendary theme to the director. The cast and crew did an amazing job.

From it’s iconic opening skinny-dip scene to its award-winning score, everything about Jaws is perfect. If you’ve never seen it, this is your notice to go watch it now! You’ll never look at the water the same way.

Thanks for checking out my post!

TODOH #5: M3GAN (2022)

“I won’t let anything harm you. Ever again.”

One of the most recent horror films to make it into my list of Thirty-One Favorites is 2022’s AI/robotics terror tale, M3GAN. In the film, a young lady, Cady, loses her parents in an accident and is taken in by her aunt, Gemma, who happens to be robotics whiz. Unable to connect with her niece, Gemma introduces her to M3GAN, an artificially intelligent companion that she has developed in the hopes that her niece will finally open up and connect with her. Impressed by Cady’s connection with M3GAN, Gemma’s company begins planning to mass produce M3GAN. The only problem is that M3GAN really, really wants to protect Cady from any and all threats, including people. The result is dark comedy/horror film featuring a fast-talking and sassy robot killing anybody in her way.

The film was a surprise hit when it was released. It spawned a sequel that took M3GAN in a completely different (and less popular) direction, and a spinoff called SOULM8TE. Neither film has garnered the attention or accolades of the original M3GAN film. The original movie is funny, a bit creepy, and chock full of “too-much-technology” warnings. The cast features Allison Williams as Gemma, Violet McGraw as Cady, Ronny Chieng as Gemma’s demanding boss, and Amie Donald (body) and Jenna Davis (voice) as M3GAN. Supporting roles feature Brian Jordan Alvarez and Jen Van Epps, who portray co-workers of Gemma’s who provide plenty of funny moments in the film.

From her snappy dialogue to her iconic dance moves, M3GAN hits all of the right notes. It’s a fun movie that captivated me and millions of other people. Be sure to check it out if you haven’t seen it yet.

Thanks for checking out my post.

TODOH #4: Christine (1983)

“It seems like nobody likes my car these days.”

1983 was a huge year for movies. Some of the most popular films of all time were released that year. Return of the Jedi, Octopussy, Trading Places, and National Lampoon’s Vacation are just a few of the big films released that year. It was also a great year for cult classic horror films such as Sleepaway Camp, Mortuary, Pieces, and Curtains. Stephen King had three films based upon his books released as well, those films being Cujo, The Dead Zone, and today’s #4 film, Christine. I’ve reviewed this film before, and it’s also one of my favorite horror films of all time.

The movie stars Keith Gordon as a hapless nerd who buys Christine, a 1958 Plymouth Fury, that becomes possessive of whoever owns her. After restoring Christine, Arnie (Gordon) becomes more and more confident about himself, going so far as to ask out the beautiful new girl in school, Leigh (Alexandra Paul). Christine becomes jealous of Arnie’s new relationship and people start ending up dead. Arnie’s best friend, Dennis (John Stockwell), tries to intervene in Arnie’s bizarre relationship with Christine, and ends up hospitalized as a result. Things really get serious when a detective (Harry Dean Stanton starts sniffing around Arnie.

The premise is ridiculous, but somehow director John Carpenter, who also co-scored the film, manages to make an obsessive killer car believable and fun to watch on the screen. The entire cast give surprisingly strong performances and the special effects are absolutely outstanding.

Watch Christine if you haven’t seen it yet. If you have, you know just how amazing this film is! Thanks for checking out today’s post. See you tomorrow!

TODOH #3: Willow Creek (2013)

“Are you a believer?”

I’m not a fan of found footage films. I’ll acknowledge the fact that The Blair Witch Project utilized the internet to perfection when it comes to marketing, but the final film was dull, boring, and not that good. As a co-host of the Filmsquatch Podcast, I’ve had to watch many, many found footage films as that is one of the easiest and budget-friendly ways to make an independent film. As a fan of Bigfoot, 2013’s Willow Creek had been on my radar long before I started the podcast with my buddy, Patrick Bennett, and I had already viewed it a few times. Yes, the fact that it was a Bigfoot film enticed me, but what really hooked me in, despite it being a found footage movie, was the fact that it was written and directed by comedian and actor Bobcat Goldthwait.

Goldthwait did an amazing job with this film. He utilized sounds and practical effects to scare the crap out of tons of people with this movie. It didn’t hurt that the film’s two stars, Alexie Gilmore and Bryce Johnson, ran with the outline of the story that Goldthwait gave them and improvised most of the film with ease. They were very believable as a couple going out to investigate the area where the infamous Patterson-Gimlin film was shot in the 1960s. The highlight of the film was a nearly eighteen minute one shot wherein Gilmore and Johnson react to sounds and movements outside of their tent. It was a very tense scene and one of my favorite scenes in all of cryptid cinema.

If and when you do watch this film (if you haven’t watched it already), I highly recommend watching it with commentary on from Goldthwait, Gilmore, and Johnson. The trio do a great job of recalling different things that went on during the production. One of my favorite moments is when, during one very tense moment in the film, we learn about how actress Laura Montagna earned the nickname “Cinnamon Tits,” essentially breaking the tension of the scene. I do recommend watching the film without commentary first, and then diving back into it with the commentary.

If you’re looking for a real creeper that forces you to see things with your mind, give Willow Creek a shot. It’s got plenty of terror, a good dose of humor, and a couple of surprising scenes that will definitely catch you off guard.

Thanks for checking out my post!

TODOH #2: Sleepy Hollow (1999)

“Because you have bewitched me.”

I have a strange relationship with 1999’s Sleepy Hollow. The film is obviously a horror movie, but much like The Nightmare Before Christmas, I find myself watching it multiple times between Halloween and Christmas. I’ve blogged about this before, but there is something about this film that feels like Christmas to me. Perhaps it’s the snow in the closing credits or perhaps it’s just Tim Burton’s style, but this horror film fits comfortably in the holiday season for me.

The film stars Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Richard Griffiths, Christopher Lee, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, and so many more wonderful actors. It’s Tim Burton’s take on the classic Washington Irving short story, expanded to throw in manipulation, misdirection, greed, and all sorts of other things. It has amazing effects and a brilliant score by Danny Elfman. It’s a nearly perfect film and it’s easily one of my top five favorite horror films of all time.

Do you feel the same way about Sleepy Hollow? Is it one of your favorites that you can watch over and over again, especially during the holiday season? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for checking out my post!

TODOH Favorites #1: Jurassic Park (1993)

“Hold on to your butts.”

It’s only logical that I kick off Thirty-One Days O’Horror Favorites with a film that rides the line between science fiction and horror, Jurassic Park (1993). There have been many arguments on the web, at conventions, and in backroom parlors (okay, I might be fibbing there) about whether or not Jurassic Park qualifies as a horror film. In my opinion, it definitely is. My reasoning is simple: It’s a science fiction creature feature just like Alien, Frankenstein, and a ton of other monster movies. It has suspense, terror, and a decent body count as well. If you didn’t feel the least bit of tension while watching this film, you’re dead inside.

The film stars the Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum. It co-stars Samuel L. Jackson, BD Wong, Bob Peck, Richard Attenborough, Martin Ferrero, Joseph Mazzello, Ariana Richards, and Wayne Knight. It featured an amazing blend of practical and (at the time) pioneering CGI effects. It spawned an entire franchise of sequels, animated shows, toys, and more, and it all began with the book of the same name by Michael Crichton.

Jurassic Park is my favorite film of all time. I’ve blogged about it multiple times and reviewed a number of the toys based on the films. It made me fall in love with Laura Dern. It reignited my interest in dinosaurs and has basically been a big part of my life ever since I first saw this movie way back in the summer of ’93 at the original movie theater at Prien Lake Mall. That theater is long gone, but my memories of watching the movie there will remain with me until I die.

Thanks for checking out Day #1 of Thirty-One Days O’Horror Favorites. There’s a whole month of my faves left to go!

Where The Scary Things Are (2022)

The monsters aren’t under your bed

2022’s Where The Scary Things Are is terrible. There’s really not much more to say about the film, but since I review movies on this blog, I’ll give it the ol’ college try. The film was written and directed by B. Harrison Smith, who gave us a host of other classic films like Camp Dread, All I Want For Christmas, and The Fields. I’m not familiar with any of these films myself, but if they are anything like Where The Scary Things Are, I’m not going to waste my time with them. Seriously, the movie was bad, and I’m usually a pretty nice guy when it comes to movie reviews, but I cannot recommend this movie at all.

This review contains spoilers…..

The film is about a group of very unlikable teens and one really annoying preteen that, for some weird reason, is always with them. He carries around a camera and attempts to make viral videos for his YouTube series about battling bums. It’s ridiculous. The group is comprised of boys with nicknames like “Snack” and “Scribble” and one very aggressive, very mean girl named Ayla. She deals with her mother’s boyfriend who makes creepy advances on her and she’s apparently really mad at the world. She’s easily the worst character in the bunch and, while I hate to say this about any young actor, her acting skills are wretched. The kids stumble upon a monster at a scare park that is closed for the season. The older kids are then assigned a class project to create their own urban legend and use the internet to spread it. The kids decide to video the monster eating things and eventually eating people in order to gain internet notoriety. Victims are selected because they are bums or Ayla just doesn’t like them. As the urban legend spreads, the teacher demands that the kids stop their project. They refuse and, spoiler alert, more people die until the creature breaks free and feasts on these evil little turds.

The only redeeming thing about this film is the creature. It is made with practical effects and looks pretty good. Everything else, from acting to directing and writing to character development, is atrocious. I wanted to turn this cinematic dung off but something inside of me kept saying that it would get better. It doesn’t.

Don’t watch this movie.

Thanks for reading my post.

Mattel The Hammond Collection: Dr. Ian Malcolm (2022)

“Must go faster….”

It’s been awhile since I posted an action figure review, so please forgive me if this particular one is a few years old. As my longtime readers know, I was very fond of Mattel’s Amber Collection featuring six inch versions of some of the best characters from the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World films. When that line was phased out, it was replaced by a 3.75″ series of figures dubbed The Hammond Collection. The figures looked a lot like their six inch counterparts, some even having the same types of accessories, but details suffered quite a bit in these scaled-down figures. That said, the 2022 release of Dr. Ian Malcolm is a pretty nice figure.

I actually found this figure early last year at one of my local Ollie’s Bargain Outlet. The box was a tad damaged, but that’s not a big deal for a guy like me when it comes to a bargain. I scooped up the figure, happy to finally have the smaller scale version of Dr. Malcolm. The figure has a reasonable likeness to Jeff Goldblum, but the glasses, which aren’t removable, don’t look that great. The clothing on the figure, which includes a removable jacket, looks amazing. The details on the boots are really impressive.

The figure features sixteen points of articulation, allowing for some pretty cool poses. It comes with three accessories, two arms with rolled up shirt sleeves and the iconic flare that Dr. Malcolm uses to erroneously distract the T-Rex. It should be noted that Dr. Malcolm can only hold the flare in his jacketed hands.

The figure is a nice addition to my Jurassic Park collection. I’m only lacking the original 3.75″ Hammond Collection Dr. Alan Grant as far as figures that I want is concerned. I have the six inch version of that figure, but would love to complete my collection of the 3.75″ figures. I’ve included a few more shots of the Dr. Ian Malcolm figure below. Give them a look and decide for yourself whether or not you want to pick up this figure. He’s available for some fairly reasonable prices all over the web.

Thanks for checking out my review!