Magic Wheels
Although he’s best known for 1983’s A Christmas Story, Peter Billingsley was actually a very busy child actor in the 80’s. Not only did he appear in the aforementioned Christmas classic, but he also starred in the thriller Death Valley (1982), Russkies (1987), Beverly Hills Brats (1989), and a few other films as well. His face was all over television, starring or guest starring in numerous shows such as Punky Brewster, Highway To Heaven, Little House On The Prairie, Real People, and many more. One of the quirkiest films that he appeared in was The Dirt Bike Kid (1985), a film about a kid who buys a magical bike that helps him fight off a motorcycle gang, a greedy banker, and also helps him save his friend’s business. Crazy, right? It’s still a fun little flick.
In the film, Billingsley portrays Jack Simmons. Jack is mesmerized by motorcycles, motocross racing, and BMX bikes. His single mother (Anne Bloom), who is struggling to make ends meet, gives Jack their last fifty dollars for groceries while she goes for a job interview. Jack happens to go to a local race and ends up purchasing a beat up old dirt bike with the money instead and also has to trade his BMX bike as well. With nothing but a filthy and banged up motorcycle to show for his troubles, Jack’s mom punishes him and sends him to his room for the night. Once the lights go out, Jack sneaks out to the garage and cleans up the bike. It magically fixes its own dents and scratches and takes Jack for a wild ride that has him fighting a motorcycle gang and eventually flying over the city to safety back at home.
As the film continues, we learn that a local banker, Mr. Hodgkins (Stuart Pankin), has plans to demolish the local hot dog stand in order to make way for a new bank. That hot dog stand is owned by Mike (Patrick Collins), Jack’s good friend and baseball coach. From there the movie becomes a battle of wits and wheels between Jack and Mr. Hodgkins as Jack begins to uncover the real reason why Mr. Hodgkins wants to put his new bank on the spot where Mike’s Doghouse currently stands.
Along for the ride are Jack’s best friend, Bo (Chad Sheets), Mrs. Clavell (Sage Parker), who works for Mr. Hodgkins but secretly loves Mike, Big Slime (Weasel Forshaw), leader of the local biker gang, and a crew of bumbling cops that attempt to stop Jack because Mr. Hodgkins has them in his pocket. It all sounds really silly but it also works perfectly on the same level as films like Meatballs. Basically there are enough dirty words in the film to make parents cringe a bit but there are also so many sugary sweet moments and completely silly action that parents let the bad words slide. There’s almost no sexual references in the film with the exception of Bo being captivated by a young woman’s bouncing bosom at the beginning of the film and Mr. Hodgkins unsuccessfully attempting to seduce Jack’s mom and eventually a second woman as well.
The film’s cast is loaded with faces that most 1980’s and 1990’s kids will recognize. Though none of them may register as a star, all of the core cast has either starred in at least one major film or has been a guest star or star on the small screen. The actor who plays Mike, Patrick Collins, has been in an amazing amount of films, television shows, and commercials. From the mid 1970’s on, Collins has nearly sixty credits to his name, many of which were as recurring characters on shows such as Gimme A Break, Law & Order: SVU, and Checking In. Anne Bloom has had a long career much like Collins. She starred in the series Not Necessarily The News (along with The Dirt Bike Kid costars Stuart Pankin and Danny Breen and director Hoite C. Caston), and went on to appear on shows such as Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, Doogie Howser, M.D., Airwolf, and Johnny Bravo. Stuart Pankin has had probably the most prolific on screen career of the film’s stars. According to IMDb, Pankin has 163 acting credits to his name including roles in films such as Arachnophobia and Fatal Attraction and a ton of TV roles including starring, recurring, and guest roles in shows like The Golden Girls, The Power of Matthew Star, Barney Miller, Knots Landing, Night Court, and Suddenly Susan. He has also done a ton of voice work on shows like Dinosaurs, Superman: The Animated Series, and Higglytown Heroes. Sage Parker has also featured in a number of popular films and television shows but most folks will probably recognize her as Tyler, one of the scientists that works on Robocop in the film of the same name. Chad Sheets’ career was sadly cut short. He passed away at the age of twenty-six due to colon cancer. I vaguely remember the children’s series that he starred in called The Real Adventures of Sherlock Jones and Proctor Watson. What I really remember him from are films like Meatballs II and his guest roles on shows like Magnum, P.I. Billingsley found his true calling behind the camera. He has produced, co-produced, executive produced, or directed numerous films and television series including Four Christmases, Sullivan & Son, Couples Retreat, and Iron Man. He still gets in front of the camera as well, mainly in cameos or small guest roles such as in films like Spiderman: Far From Home and Elf.
The Dirt Bike Kid is currently available on home media and multiple streaming services. If you subscribe to Amazon Prime or Peacock, the film is included for free on those platforms. Pluto TV and Tubi are two free streamers that also have the film available for viewing. If you have a kid between the ages of eight and twelve, this is a great film to watch with them. There’s a bit of bad language and the aforementioned bouncing bosom (fully clothed), but not much else that will make a parent worry about what their kid is seeing on the screen. I believe that you’ll enjoy this movie as well.
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