“Good night, good morning…….whatever.”
As I’ve been stumbling down a vampire rabbit hole looking for films to highlight in this year’s Thirty-One Days O’Horror, I’ve found quite a few gems. I’ve also found a few stinkers that won’t see the light of day. Then there are a few films that are just too unique to pass up even though they may not be an exceptional film. Love Bites (1993) is one of those films. It stars rocker Adam Ant as the really friendly and likeable Zachary Simms, a vampire who just woke up from a long one hundred year nap in the home of Kendall Gordon (Kimberly Foster), who didn’t know that her home had a secret crypt. Kendall is in a complicated relationship and has just agreed to marry her boyfriend, Dwight Putnam (Roger Rose). When Zachary appears in her life, however, she starts to fall for him.
When Dwight finds out that Kendall is seeing another man, he hires Vinnie Helsting (Philip Bruns) to get dirt on him. Zachary, meanwhile, has decided to become human again, which is apparently a thing that vampires can do, and he and Kendall do all sorts of things together to bring him back to the land of the living. He even gets a job at Dwight’s firm and proves to be simply amazing at his work. Sadly, the more human Zachary becomes, the less likeable he gets. To make things go even more sideways, Zachary’s old love, Nerissa (Michelle Forbes) shows up and decides to “revamp” Zachary. Watch Love Bites to find out what happens next!
This isn’t a great film. It’s only mildly entertaining to be honest. I had a few laughs here and there and kept thinking to myself: This is a Hallmark movie with a vampire tossed in it. But why watch the film? Because Michelle Forbes does a great job as Nerissa and Adam Ant is just too brilliant to ignore as Zachary Simms. He’s so sugary sweet and playing against type that I just had to finish watching the film. I recommend watching this film strictly because it is just so freaking bizarre. Give it a chance. It might surprise you.
Ken's Alternate Universe! 