“Chainsaws are for children.”
The final Popeye-inspired horror film in 2025 was Shiver Me Timbers. It’s also the best or worst of the trio depending on who you ask. While I don’t consider it the best, I don’t believe that it is necessarily the worst. The plot is ridiculous. The acting is sketchy at best. The film has entirely too many bad CGI effects. All of these things are true, but Shiver Me Timbers plays out knowing full well that it’s a bad movie and for that, I have to respect it just a little bit.
It’s (supposed to be 1986) and a group of young adults are heading out to the coast to witness the rare Halley’s Comet meteor shower. They briefly encounter a fisherman on the way to their campsite, almost hitting him with their car. They apologize and he goes along about his business, excited for the good fishing he expects that evening. The group then encounters a homeless man being harassed by ne’er-do-wells and they help him. When they finally arrive at the campsite, they do all of the normal things that young adults do in films of this nature. They drink alcohol, smoke weed, dance, and then split up so that they can easily be picked off by the local slasher. That local slasher turns out to be the old fisherman whenever a piece of a meteor lands in his corncob pipe and causes him to mutate into a violent killing machine.
Shiver Me Timbers is really, really bad. The heavy reliance on CGI takes away from the overall comedic tone of the film and the goriness of the kills. All of the kills are over-the-top, but not as funny as they could have been with better direction and practical effects. The acting is subpar and the pothead humor will only be funny to potheads while they are smoking pot. Most of the characters are forgettable, with the exception of Olive Oyl, who manages to be the most interesting character in the film. She is portrayed by Amy Mackie. The only other actor worth mentioning is Niamh Parrington as Cylinda, one of Olive’s friends and a mild love interest of Castor, Olive’s brother. Popeye is portrayed by David Hallows (old fisherman) and Tony Greer (killer fisherman).
As bad as Shiver Me Timbers may be, it appears to be quite comfortable with what it is: a B-movie intentionally being as bad as it can be. For that, I have to give the film a mild thumbs up. It doesn’t take itself seriously at all and never tries to be more than a bad film. It also gives a sweet nod to Army Of Darkness and that’s mighty fine of them in my book.
If you want to watch a bad movie that relishes in its badness, Shiver Me Timbers is for you. You definitely have to be in a specific mood to enjoy this film. I personally recommend Popeye The Slayer Man over this film and Popeye’s Revenge, but I know that there is a select audience for Shiver Me Timbers. A sequel is in the works and it will bring Tarzan and Betty Boop into the fray. Will it be just as terrible? Probably. Amy Mackie will be reprising her role as Olive Oyl. No word on whether or not any of the other survivors will show up for the sequel.
Thanks for checking out my review.
Ken's Alternate Universe! 