Ken's Alternate Universe!

Arts And “The Craft”: Days O’Horror #8!

California, 1996

The 1990’s were an excellent time for me. I graduated from high school and college during the decade, listened to multiple one-hit wonder bands, and got to see films like The Quick and the Dead, Empire Records, Interview With The Vampire, Mortal Kombat, what seemed like a ton of Jennifer Aniston films in order to impress a girl (and failed), and Hercules for $1 thanks to a local cinema that sadly was torn down a few years ago. I would go there to check out movies that I really wanted to see but missed due to either not being able to get anybody to go with me or because there were other movies out that I wanted to see even more at the time. I would also watch films that didn’t look like my cup of tea, but wanted to watch anyway because I wanted to see just how bad the film would end up being.

The Craft was one of those films.

In my book it had nothing going for it. Four teen girls in California “playing witch” just didn’t appeal to me. However, the film starred Robin Tunney, who had just starred in one of my favorite films of all time, Empire Records. Being a male in college at the time, her beauty gave me just enough reason to be willing to drop a dollar on The Craft. Add to that the fact that cute Julia Salinger (okay, Neve Campbell, who portrayed Julia in Party of Five,) the lovely Rachel True, and the exotically gorgeous Fairuza Balk were also a part of the cast and I was sold.

The film reeks of the 90’s. From the clothing that everyone in the film wore (including Skeet Ulrich and Breckin Meyer) to the soundtrack that featured Matthew Sweet, Jewel, and Heather Nova, the film is a perfect capsule of mid 90’s teen/young adult life.

At its core, I’ve always viewed The Craft as a “Teen Wants To Fit In” film. Nancy (Balk) hates her white trash life and wants to be rich. Rochelle (True) wants revenge against her nemesis, the racist Laura (Christine Taylor). Bonnie (Campbell) wants the scars that she is ashamed of to vanish. Sarah seemingly just wants to fit in, but after a date with one of the popular guys at school (Ulrich) goes sour, she wants to control him.

We’ve all been ashamed of our clothes or our home or something else like that at some point as teens. We’ve all had to deal with bullies as well. There have been things that we want to change about ourselves physically. We’ve also probably all fallen pretty hard for someone and regretted it later on in life.

When the girls’ spells actually work, they become power hungry. Sarah starts to back off and no longer wants to be a part of the coven, but Nancy embraces the power she is given and wants even more. Rochelle seems to feel bad for Laura at first, but eventually sides with Nancy, as does Bonnie, who has grown to love the attention all of the boys give her now that her scars are gone. The trio take on Sarah, who eventually realizes that she is much more powerful than any of the other girls know.

I won’t reveal the ending of the film. Just know that this surprise hit that has become a cult favorite is worth checking out. Many members of the cast would go on to have solid careers in film and television. Tunney bounced around in films of varying degrees of success until she won a television gig on Prison Break. Campbell would become a big star with her Scream franchise role of Sidney Prescott. Balk has appeared in everything from independent films to mainstream comedies such as The Waterboy. Of the four core actresses in the film, only Rachel True seems to have had a hard time striking success again.

Christine Taylor and Breckin Meyer had bit parts in the film, but continued on to successful careers in film and television. Skeet Ulrich joined Neve Campbell in the first Scream film.

So, did I get a great deal on this film whenever I paid one dollar to see it? Absolutely. You should check it out as well if you haven’t seen it yet.

As always, thanks for reading. I’ll have another film post ready for you tomorrow knight.

Stay Awake! Day O’Horror #7!

Under The Sheets

I’ve seen all of the films in the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise (including the television series). Growing up, it was one of the few horror franchises that I really enjoyed watching. Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) became funnier with each film and, sadly, he became less of a killer and more of a comedian. The first film truly scared me (I was only eight or nine when it was released). Wes Craven’s New Nightmare attempted to bring Freddy back to his evil roots, and succeeds at doing so.

Spoilers Ahead!

In the film, Heather Langenkamp (who portrayed Nancy in the franchise), is married to a Special FX worker named Chase (David Newsom). She has a dream that Chase and other workers on the set of a new Nightmare film are murdered by the new Freddy Krueger glove that they created. Heather is asked to reprise her role as Nancy in a new Freddy film but is reluctant to accept it due to her recent nightmare and the fact that she now has a son, Dylan (Miko Hughes).

As the movie rolls along, Chase is killed in a “car accident,” Dylan begins to have episodes of screaming and sleepwalking, and Heather starts to become unhinged as the real Freddy attempts to cross over into the real world and taunts her through phone calls, cryptic letters, and earthquakes.

Wes Craven (creator of the franchise and horror legend) is also having dreams, and writing his newest Nightmare film, each page acting as a prophetic message of what next happens to Heather, Dylan, and others. Robert Englund begins painting gory Freddy-inspired portraits.

A local doctor believes that Heather is abusing Dylan, doing “recreational drugs,” and losing her mind. Things come to a head whenever Dylan escapes from the hospital, runs into traffic, and gets strung along by Freddy. Heather chases him home and runs into John Saxon (who portrayed her father in the original film). Something’s different about him, though, and Heather slowly realizes Saxon actually IS Lt. Thompson from the film.

She then faces off against Freddy in his world. Eventually Freddy corners young Dylan and attempts to capture him, but Heather manages to save Dylan and tosses Freddy into a furnace. He reveals his true demonic form and burns to death while his world crumbles and then explodes.

The film manages to generate some decent scares (the best since the second film), and Freddy has stripped back most of the humor. It’s a solid creepy film with a few gross and gory moments. There are also nods to the original film (watch babysitter Julie’s death in particular). Cast and crew from the original film portray their “real world” selves including Wes Craven, Sara Risher, Robert Shaye, and Sam Rubin, among others.

It was nice to see Freddy be genuinely scary again. He received a redesign for the film that was based on Craven’s original idea for the character. His face has more muscle tissue exposed and the glove looks more like a burned hand with a bladed apparatus attached to it. Basically, this ain’t you daddy’s Freddy.

I enjoyed this film. It was dark and gloomy and had just enough scares to bring Freddy back to his old evil self. Langenkamp did a great job as herself and all of the supporting cast did an excellent job as well.

As always, thanks for reading. I have a busy week ahead, but I plan on watching and blogging about a new film each night!

It’s the Five-OOOoooooOOO! Day O’Horror #6

The Fuzz

Lon Chaney, Jr. is the sole reason that I became a werewolf maniac. As a child, his portrayal of Larry Talbot in 1941’s The Wolf Man captivated me. Lon Chaney, Jr. is still my favorite werewolf and while there have been plenty of other werewolves on the screen, none of them have come close to dethroning him.

I’ve watched a ton of werewolf films over the years and the majority of them are…..just okay. I enjoyed 2010’s The Wolfman for the most part, but felt that they expanded the story entirely too much and relied on excessive CGI. An American Werewolf in London (1981) is a cult classic, no doubt, but I wouldn’t put it in the same league as the 1941 film. The Howling franchise, I Was A Teenage Werewolf, Dog Soldiers, Silver Bullet, Ginger Snaps, Teen Wolf, and other films worked to varying degrees, but nothing can beat Lon Chaney, Jr.

In recent years, most werewolf films find their audience in B-films and horror/comedies like Never Cry Werewolf (2008). The film borrows heavily from the vampire flick Fright Night (1985) and stars Nina Dobrev and Kevin Sorbo. It plays up the comedy big time, but is ultimately just a mildly enjoyable flick.

A couple of mild spoilers ahead.

WolfCop (2014), tonight’s Thirty-One Days O’Horror flick, is another horror/comedy that takes a much more adult turn when compared to Never Cry Werewolf. It’s funny, with werewolf and police puns running rampant on the screen. There’s also alcoholism, lots of gore, and changelings.

The film stars Leo Fafard as Lou Garou (yes, I know), a drunken loser who also happens to be a cop in the small town of Woodhaven. On the opposite end of the spectrum is Lou’s co-worker, Tina (Amy Matysio), a sergeant on the force who is reliable and trustworthy. Lou’s buddy Willie (Jonathan Cherry) is convinced that teens are holding occult rituals behind his shop. He calls in for someone to check it out and that’s when things start to get weird.

Lou ends up blacking out and waking in his own bed, not knowing how he got there. He starts to heal faster, has heightened senses, and begins to become a responsible (but still perpetually inebriated) cop. Bad guys start turning up dead, an eclipse is coming up, shapeshifters are trying to maintain control of the town, Lou drinks more alcohol, there’s a human/beast adult encounter, body parts are shown during transformations that aren’t normally shown, and things get generally messy.

Garou starts to make sense of what is going on, as does his partner, Tina. As they each get closer to the truth, more secrets are revealed about Woodhaven. More bad puns are delivered as well. There’s also a ritual sacrifice.

The film has its moments. There’s a big battle at a meth lab between Lou in wolf form and gang members. It was refreshing to see practical effects instead of CGI throughout this scene and the film as a whole. The werewolf looked excellent. It was probably the best practical werewolf that I’ve seen since Dog Soldiers. He definitely had a more classic look similar to Lon Chaney, Jr.’s werewolf, but with more hair and teeth. The acting was good for an indie flick that pokes fun at itself and the horror genre in general.

Fans of the Final Destination franchise will recognize Willie (Jonathan Cherry) and the gang’s leader (Jesse Moss), both of which lost their lives on the big screen in those films. The rest of the cast is made up of solid character actors.

I definitely enjoyed this film for what it was. The practical effects, funny transformation scene, and overall humor of the film made it worth checking out. It’s definitely one of the better horror comedies to come out in a long time. It’s much better than Little Dead Rotting Hood, which I watched a few days ago and you can read about here. It won’t win any great awards but I’ve never based my enjoyment of a film on how many trophies it wins. Just sit back and watch Wolf Cop with a few friends, a few brews, and a few steaks on the grill.

Thanks for reading. I plan on having another review up tomorrow as I continue my hike to Halloween with Thirty-One Days O’Horror! See ya next time!

Gettin’ Squatchy! Day O’Horror #5!

In The Woods

The Legend of Boggy Creek was the first film I watched that featured a cryptid as the antagonist. Since that time I have watched many, many more films about Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, and any other big hairy creature with massive feet. Most of those films were terrible, but every once in awhile a film pops up that makes me take notice. It isn’t necessarily perfect, but it’s really fun to watch. Abominable is one of those films.

Matt McCoy (Police Academy franchise) stars as Preston Rogers, a man who is taken up to a cabin in the woods to face his fears and come to terms with the loss of his wife at the same location six months earlier. He is accompanied by Otis (Christien Tinsley), a nurse that takes care of Preston’s needs. Otis is a jerk, but deep down inside he really does care for Preston.

Mild Spoilers Ahead!

After arriving at the cabin, Otis realizes that he forgot to pick up soy milk for Preston. He decides to go back into town, leaving Preston all alone. While waiting for Otis to return, Preston hears loud music and laughter at the cabin next door. He takes a peek outside and sees a group of young women getting ready to have a big pre-wedding weekend for one of their friends.

One young lady, attempting to get a stronger cell signal, steps out of the cabin and walks over to the treeline. Preston watches her with his binoculars, only to see that a creature is standing just outside of her sight line. All of a sudden it attacks her, dragging her off into the forest. Preston tries to tell the other girls, but they believe that he’s doing nothing more than watching them like a creep.

Otis returns and Preston tries to tell him what happened. Otis doesn’t believe Preston, especially whenever Preston hands him the binoculars and Otis spies one of the girls taking a shower. As the story rolls along, the body count goes up. Preston attempts to get in touch with the local sheriff’s department, but the sheriff holds his men off until one of them finally decides to see what’s going on. Will he get to the cabin in time to save Preston and the rest of the girls? You’ll have to check out Abominable to find out.

This film is equal parts comedy, horror, and B-eautiful. It generates a decent amount of scares and the bulk of the cast is pretty solid. What’s especially wonderful is the fact that genre legends Lance Henriksen, Dee Wallace, Jeffrey Combs, and Tiffany Shepis all have small but excellent roles in the film. Combs is especially funny. Shepis, as gorgeous as ever, has one of the best deaths in B-cinema history in this film.

Paul Gleason (The Breakfast Club) hams it up as the local sheriff, Halderman. He drops numerous references to The Breakfast Club, including a few direct quotes and that brilliant hand gesture he uses during the film. This movie would be one of his last roles.

Director Ryan Shifrin phones in for assists from his father, legendary composer Lalo Shifrin, and artist Drew Struzan (creator of posters for film franchises such as Star Wars and Indiana Jones).

Christien Tinsley pulled double duty as both an actor and as a makeup artist. He’s actually an Oscar nominated artist that has worked on films such as The Passion of the Christ (where he excelled at creating prosthetic tattoos) and No Country For Old Men, as well as television shows such as Westworld and American Horror Story.

Despite being a convincingly scary beast, the creature in the film reminded me of Jack Elam. He’s still pretty scary, and executes some excellent kills on the screen.

If you haven’t seen Abominable, I highly recommend checking it out. It’s an excellent creature feature with some nice scares, decent acting, excellent music, and Otis, the grand jerk of nursing aids.

As always, thanks for reading. I’ll have another post tomorrow night!

Double The Terror! Day O’Horror #4

Eat Or Die

Welcome to day four of my Day O’Horror series! Today is twice as nice because I watched not one, but TWO horror flicks. Last night I watched Curse of Chucky and followed it up with the brand spanking new Cult of Chucky. I’ll get to that chewy morsel of terror in a moment, but first I’m going to cover a cult classic that I saw on the big screen way back in 1999.

At the time I was dating the lady that would become my wife. We were bored one evening and decided to see what was playing at the movies. Wing Commander was one of the choices, so deciding to view Ravenous was a no-brainer. My future wife had her doubts, but considering the fact that I watched She’s All That with her and would happily be watching 10 Things I Hate About You in the very near future, she let me have one movie.

Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle were the stars of the film. I didn’t know anything about Pearce (The Count of Monte Cristo, The Time Machine, Iron Man 3) at the time, and barely remembered that Carlyle had been in The Full Monty and Trainspotting. The rest of the cast included prolific character actor Jeffrey Jones (Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, Beetlejuice, Sleepy Hollow, The Devil’s Advocate), David Arquette (Scream, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Eight-Legged Freaks, Never Been Kissed), the always underused Neal McDonough (Arrow, Angels In The Outfield, Tin Man, Timeline, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.), and a number of other solid cast members.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

The film opens with Pearce’s character, 2nd Lieutenant John Boyd, receiving a promotion to captain due to his “brave” work in the Mexican-American War. His promotion is fruitless, though, because the general is aware that Boyd played dead while the rest of his men were slaughtered and then took the Mexican leaders in a stroke of luck when all of the bodies were brought to the Mexican headquarters.

As punishment, Boyd is sent to Fort Spencer, an outpost in the Sierra Nevadas. Colonel Hart (Jones) heads up the fort with Major Knox (Stephen Spinella) as second in command. Also at the fort are Private Reich (McDonough), Private Cleaves (Arquette), Private Toffler (Jeremy Davies), and two Native American siblings, George (Joseph Running Fox) and Martha (Sheila Tousey).

The area is desolate and according to the colonel, rarely has visitors in the winter. The outpost gets a very strange visitor one evening whenever Colqhoun (Carlyle) appears. He claims to have been starving for three months. When the group doesn’t believe him, he breaks down and tells them how the small group that he was traveling with became lost in the woods due to the misdirection of a Colonel Ives. As a result, they hide in a cave for shelter and quickly run out of food. They resort to eating the oxen and even Colqhoun’s dog. When those resources run dry, they eat one of the members of their group when he dies from starvation. Soon enough, Ives begins murdering members of the party. Soon it is just Ives, Colqhoun, and Mrs. MacCready. Colqhoun abandons them and runs for help, ending up at the garrison.

When George hears this story, he tells the others about the Wendigo, a man who eats the flesh of other men in order to gain their strength. Earlier in the film it is revealed that Boyd drank the blood of his dead soldiers (but not intentionally) as it trickled down to his mouth on the bottom of the pile of bodies.

A rescue party forms up. Colqhoun leads them up to the cave where Ives was supposedly hiding out. Reich realizes that the whole situation is a trap, but it’s too late. Colqhoun kills everyone in the party except for Boyd, who jumps off of a cliff to escape. Boyd ends up in a deep hole with the body of Reich, and after a long period he begins to eat Reich in order to build his strength back up.

He returns to Fort Spencer and tells the few remaining members of the outpost about what happened. Cleaves, Knox, and Martha are all that is left with Boyd until a temporary colonel is assigned. That colonel is Ives (who is actually Colqhoun). Ives tries to convince Boyd to join him as a cannibal, but Boyd refuses until he’s mortally wounded by Ives and forced to either eat human flesh or die. An old acquaintance reappears, Knox and Cleaves are murdered, Martha is sent to get General Slouson (John Spencer) and a battle ensues between Boyd and Ives. I won’t spoil the ending for you.

I really love this movie. Many call it a dark comedy/horror film, but I see it more as a western horror film. The cannibalism story is loosely derived from the true stories of the Donner Party and a man named Alfred Packer. The acting is superb. The music is excellently offbeat, and the story works for what it is. I don’t get to watch this film very often, but every time I revisit it, I appreciate something new about it. I highly recommend this film if you’ve never watched it before. It gives you a peek at Pearce and Carlyle just before their stars really take off.

Round 2: Cult of Chucky

I won’t spend too much time on the plot of this film since my review of Ravenous ran long and because this film is brand new, but here’s a brief rundown of what happens.

Mild spoilers below!

Cult of Chucky picks up a little while after the events in Curse of Chucky. Nica (Fiona Dourif) has been placed in a mental institution after being found (wrongly) guilty of murdering her family. There she befriends Multiple Malcolm (Adam Hurtig) in her therapy group. He suffers from a multiple personality disorder. She’s also friends with Madeleine (Elisabeth Rosen), a woman who murdered her own child, and protects her from the snipes of Claire (Grace Lynn Kung). The group is guided by Dr. Foley (Michael Therriault), who makes sexual advances toward Nica.

Soon enough, a Good Guy doll, purchased by Dr. Foley, is introduced to the group and Madeleine immediately takes him as her “baby.” Another doll is given to Nica by her deceased niece’s former guardian, Tiffany Valentine (Jennifer Tilly). Yet another doll is shipped to Dr. Foley by an unknown person giving us a grand total of three Good Guy dolls.

Soon enough, bodies start piling up. Patients and staff are found choked to death by doll hands, drilled by power drills, killed with broken glass, etc. This is done with one Chucky wisecrack after another. Nica tries to convince Dr. Foley that Chucky is murdering everyone and an old enemy of Chucky arrives late in the film to help. That person is Andy Barclay (Alex Vincent), the young boy that Chucky attempted to possess in the first three films. He has his own plan to kill Chucky. If you’ve ever seen Curse of Chucky, you know that Andy shows up in an after credits scene (but not the Netflix version, where that scene is edited out).

Also waiting in the wings is Tiffany (Tilly), Chucky’s old flame. She’s ready to rejoin her lover for new murderous adventures.

I really enjoyed Curse of Chucky and whenever I found out that Cult was going to be a direct sequel to that film, I was very excited. Unfortunately, Cult meanders back toward the comedy that overtook many of the sequels. While I enjoyed the humor in those films, it wore on my nerves a bit. Curse was a more straightforward horror/suspense film. I missed that in this latest film. Also, a new gimmick is added to Chucky’s arsenal, and it feels a tad forced. That’s saying a lot about a franchise based around a possessed doll.

The cast was excellent despite a disappointing story. Brad Dourif can probably voice Chucky in his sleep now, having performed as the Good Guy for seven films. Dourif’s daughter, Fiona, reprised her role from the previous film and does a solid job. The rest of the cast is dependable and Jennifer Tilly is wonderfully psychotic.

I do recommend seeing the film, but if you can, view it on Blu-ray or DVD. The Netflix version once again edits out a post-credits clip. You can google who else returns in that clip. I won’t spoil it here.

As always, thanks for watching. I hope that you’re ready for tomorrow night’s film…..it’s oversized and angry!

Wanna Play? Day O’Horror #3!

Flying Off Of Store Shelves Everywhere

There are seven Child’s Play/Chucky films. Read that again and then think about it, let it sink in, and realize that a film series about a killer doll has been successful enough to warrant seven films (and counting, as an eighth film is already being cooked up). What might be an even scarier fact is that I’ve now seen five out of those seven films. I’ve viewed Child’s Play, Child’s Play 2, Child’s Play 3, Bride of Chucky, and Curse of Chucky. I missed Seed of Chucky for some odd reason, but plan to watch it and the most recent entry, Cult of Chucky, in the very near future.

I’m pretty sure that if you’re reading this, you are already familiar with the story of Chucky. If not, here’s a brief explanation of how a doll became a maniacal killing machine: Voodoo practitioner/psychotic serial killer Charles Lee Ray (Brad Dourif) is chased into a toy store by the police, mortally wounded, and uses voodoo to transfer his soul into the plastic body of a Good Guy doll in order to survive. Unless he wants to remain a doll forever, he has to transfer his soul into a human host. In the first film, that human just happens to be young Andy. The second and third sequel has Chucky attempting to find and take over the body of Andy until we get to the Bride of Chucky, which opens up an entirely new can of worms.

Spoilers Ahead!

Curse of Chucky introduces us to wheelchair bound Nica (Fiona Dourif, Brad Dourif’s daughter in real life) and her mother Sarah (Chantal Quesnal). They receive a large box in the mail that happens to contain a Good Guy doll. Writing it off as a joke, Sarah tosses the doll into the trash. Later, Nica hears her mother scream during the night and finds her dead on the floor as a result of an apparently self-inflicted stab wound. Chucky mysteriously shows up in the house again that evening.

Nica’s sister, Barb (Danielle Bisutti), Barb’s husband, Ian (Brennan Elliot), their daughter, Alice (Summer H. Howell), and young nanny, Jill (Maitland McConnell), move into the home with Nica. They have no plans to stay there permanently, as Barb wants to sell the home and use the profit for herself (although she claims it’s to pay for Alice’s schooling and other family needs). Alice finds Chucky and immediately takes to him. He’s in the kitchen with Nica and Alice as they prepare supper for the family and Father Frank (A Martinez), who showed up with Barb in order to check on Nica and to smooth things over with the family. Chucky poisons one bowl of chili and waits for his first victim.

After multiple shots of people eating the chili, characters start having reactions to the meal. Some make faces due to too much seasoning. Others squirm when they believe that the chili actually isn’t vegetarian. Ian pretends to choke, but then laughs it off and praises Nica and Alice for the meal. Father Frank begins to sweat, apologizes and leaves abruptly. He’s found bleeding to death after a car accident and is then decapitated when firefighters try to save him.

After Father Frank’s death, Chucky starts taking out members of the family one by one. He still has his trusty butcher knife, but he uses other methods to kill as well. I won’t go into all of them here because I don’t want to spoil anything. As the body count rises, Nica begins to realize that Chucky is the culprit, and she attempts to stop him. You’ll have to watch the film to see how it ends.

This movie was surprisingly good. In fact, I’d say that it is one of the best films in the series. That’s saying a lot considering the fact that it is the sixth film in the series. There are a few genuine suspenseful moments throughout the movie, and Chucky has a legitimate-to-a-sick-minded person reason for taking this family out. There’s also a subplot that uses a little misdirection to throw yet another surprise at the viewer.

The humor is stripped back considerably in this film. While there are still some laughs, especially toward the end, this movie plays out more like a straight horror and suspense film than anything else. It as refreshing to see a Chucky film where suspense was front and center and the humor took a backseat.

Dourif is the voice of Chucky, but he also makes an appearance as himself in flashbacks. You’ll recognize him from his work on Star Trek: Voyager, the Lord of the Rings films, Rob Zombie’s Halloween films, and tons of other films and television shows in the sci-fi, fantasy, and horror genres. After six films, I’m pretty sure that he has the character of Chucky nailed down pretty well. His daughter, Fiona, an excellent actress in her own right, is solid as Nica. The rest of the small cast do great jobs. Danielle Busetti and Brennan Elliott play off of each other extremely well as a couple on the rocks. Maitland McConnell plays their young and attractive nanny who is part of the reason that the family’s relationship is rocky, but with a twist. Young Summer H. Howell is good as Alice as well, and I look forward to seeing her in Cult of Chucky soon.

Jennifer Tilly reprises her role as herself/Tiffany from Bride of Chucky. She’s still a bombshell beauty. There’s another surprise guest thrown in as well (but, ironically, this person doesn’t show up in the Netflix offering of this movie).

If you enjoyed the previous Chucky films, specifically the first three, you’ll enjoy this movie. I put it right behind the original film as one of the best in the series. The gore is a bit campy, but it looks pretty good. The movie has an excellent amount of suspense and horror, and the story is fresh despite being six films deep.

As always, thanks for reading. I’ll see you all again tomorrow whenever I review my fourth film in Thirty-One Days O’Horror! Later, dolls!

“Crexy” Day O’Horror #2!

Somewhere in Rural America

I like Eric Balfour. He’s one of those actors who always manages to find work, but not necessarily in the most appealing films and television shows. Every once in awhile he’ll hit a home run with shows like Haven or 24, but he spends most of his time on the set of films like Dinoshark or Skyline. In other words, he frequents the SyFy channel…..a lot. Add Little Dead Rotting Hood to the list of films that Balfour is in, but that I seriously doubt that he remembers to place on his resume.

Balfour heads up a cast that includes Bianca A. Santos (Ouija, The DUFF), Patrick Muldoon (Starship Troopers, Days of Our Lives), Romeo Miller (former child rapper Lil’ Romeo and actor in films like Madea’s Witness Protection and Honey), Heather Tom (The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful) and Amy Argyle (Frank & Lola).

MILD SPOILERS AHEAD!

The movie takes place in a rural town somewhere in Appalachia. The local wolf population seems to be getting more aggressive in recent days. When people start to die, Sheriff Adam, Deputy Henry, and the townsfolk go on a wolf hunt. Danny’s girlfriend, Samantha, goes missing after her grandmother is found dead from an apparent suicide. Both of these events are tied together, and it’s up to the sheriff, Danny, and Samantha to figure out what’s really going on in the area. Thankfully, Samantha has become a killing machine on the side of good, and she’s out to stop the top dog in the pack!

This was the first time that I’ve watched this film. While I’ll probably stumble upon it on SyFy or another network in the future, I doubt that I’ll ever intentionally seek out this movie again. It’s one of those films that you want to watch just to see how bad it can be. The good news is that it isn’t terrible. The bad news is that it’s bad more than it’s good.

With The Asylum producing the film and with Balfour in the cast, you probably already know what to expect from this movie. A few actors that play their roles straight (Balfour, Santos, and Tom), a few that try entirely too hard in their roles (Miller, Argyle), and that one person who knows exactly what type of film they’re in and proceed to chew the scenery around them and have fun (Muldoon).

1e54cf — Romeo Miller as Danny with Eric Balfour.

Miller is especially tough to watch in this movie. He tries too hard to convince the viewer that he’s in a dire situation and it comes across in a terrible fashion. That’s saying something for a movie of this caliber. Muldoon is hilarious. He plays up his role for gags and walks away from this film as the real winner. He’s also the reason for “Crexy” in my title. You’ll have to watch the film to see why. Balfour and Tom, professional to the end, give very solid performances in an otherwise forgettable film. Santos does a pretty good job, but she basically growls and tells people to “Get out of here!” while wearing fingerless gloves and a crop top. Argyle is pretty much just there. She’s a ne’er-do-well who apparently controls the local wolf population, but her role lacks bite.

Celebrities+attends+premiere+Asylum+Little+OB700Z9iFQFl.jpg — Amy Argyle (Becky Sanders)

There are also plenty of other nameless characters in the film that serve as fodder for the wolves that roam the countryside. One of them in particular, Ashley Doris, can be seen visibly smirking while watching “in terror” as her boyfriend gets ripped to shreds by one of the wolves. Considering the fact that she is sans clothing while all of this is going on shows you just how obvious her smirk was! Much like Muldoon, I appreciated the fact that Doris realized what type of movie she was in and appeared to be enjoying her brief moment to shine on camera.

ashley-doris-at-little-dead-rotting-hood-premiere-in-hollywood-01-18-2016_3.jpg — Ashley Doris (Jenny)

Besides Muldoon and Day, there was another treat for eagle-eyed nerds and geeks to find. At the beginning of the film we witness the suicide of Samantha’s grandmother. Who plays her grandmother? None other than the lovely Marina Sirtis (Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation). Sirtis’ role is basically a cameo, but it was nice to see her on the screen again. I still have a crush on her.

I also have to admit that I’ve had a crush on Heather Tom for quite some time as well. Growing up in rural Louisiana meant that summer time TV viewing during the day meant soap operas or educational programming. I alternated between the two, but tended to watch The Young and the Restless a whole lot more than The Electric Company whenever Tom joined the cast as Victoria. On that note, Tom’s character in this film is Officer Victoria (an obvious nod to her soapy past).

Celebrities+attends+premiere+Asylum+Little+lNibENWM_9Gl — My future ex-girlfri….I mean, Heather Tom and a furry friend.

I will say that the cinematography in this film was excellent. Exterior shots (around Santa Clarita, CA) looked perfect. The CGI creatures and transformations were lackluster, but not unexpected.

I suggest watching this film at least once, if for no other reason than to see Balfour and Tom play straight to the goofiness that is Muldoon and the overacting of Miller. It isn’t terrible, but I doubt that it will win any major awards.

As always, thanks for reading. If you happen to know Heather Tom, tell her that her summertime crush is no longer available, but he’d love to get a signed photo or phone call from her!!!!!

Day O’Horror #1!

MALACHAI!

It’s here! The first night of thirty-one days of devilish deeds! The first entry into my Days O’Horror series is 1984’s Children of the Corn. Based upon a short story by Stephen King, this tale of terror is one of the earliest horror films that I remember viewing as a child. Having watched it as a forty-one year old man, though, I now realize three things:

This flick isn’t nearly scary as I thought it was when I was a kid.
It would probably get a hard PG-13 rating today.
Isaac and Malachai are still creepy and still the only memorable parts of the film.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

The film opens three years in the past (1981) and we’re told a tale by young Joby (Robby Kiger) of how the children of Gatlin, Nebraska murdered all of the adults in their small rural community. This takes place at the request of a young cult leader named Isaac (the devilishly enjoyable John Franklin), who claims to be speaking for “He Who Walks Behind The Rows,” and is headed up by Isaac’s apparent enforcer, Malachai (the equally awesome Courtney Gains).

The story leaps ahead three years and we see a young couple, Burt and Vicky (Peter Horton and Linda Hamilton) on their way to Burt’s internship at a Seattle hospital. Their road trip leads them through Gatlin. When Burt accidentally hits a young man in the road and realizes that the boy’s throat had been sliced open prior to the wreck, he realizes that the sparsely populated area that he and Vicky were passing through held a dark secret.

After seeking out the help of a roadside mechanic (R.G. Armstrong) and being turned away, the pair get lost on the road and are manipulated into driving to Gatlin. Here they befriend Joby’s sister, Sarah (Anne Marie McEvoy). Burt unwisely leaves Vicky with Sarah and goes into town for help. Vicky is taken prisoner by Malachai and she is tied to a cross in the cornfield to be a part of the sacrifice for one of the older children’s day of leaving (human sacrifice because he was about to turn nineteen).

Burt gets attacked while breaking up a ceremony in the old church led by the zealous Rachel (Judie Maddalena) and then finds himself on the run from Malachai and some of the other children. He is eventually rescued by Joby and they, along with Sarah, make plans to rescue Vicky and escape Gatlin. Malachai successfully overthrows Isaac as leader of the cult and puts Isaac on the cross in the place of Vicky.

Burt successfully rescues Vicky, Isaac gets sacrified, and then Burt gets into a fight with Malachai. Burt seems to open up the eyes of the children to the evil of the cult, but only in time to have a demonic Isaac return and take down Malachai. Burt and Joby cook up a plan to destroy the demon in the field and succeed in burning him. Burt is then attacked by Rachel who is hiding in his car, but she is knocked out by Vicky. Sarah and Joby are invited to live with Burt and Vicky, and the film abruptly ends.

A Decent Start

This film was a decent start to Thirty-One Days O’Horror. I’ve probably watched this film three times (including today’s showing). It isn’t the greatest film out there, but like I said earlier, Isaac and Malachai (and to a lesser degree, Rachel) are super creepy. I totally forgot that Horton (of Thirtysomething fame) and Hamilton (the Terminator films) were the stars of this movie. All I can ever remember is demonic Isaac calling out for “Malachaiiii.”

Courtney Gains (Malachai) actually had a pretty solid career after this film. He has been in Back To The Future, Sweet Home Alabama, and Memphis Belle, among other successful films. He’s a solid character actor and his IMDb proves that he has consistently worked in TV, film, and stage since appearing in Children of the Corn. I’ve always been impressed by his work.

John Franklin really shined in this movie as the manipulative zealot, Isaac. While he didn’t get as much work as Courtney Gains after filming Children of the Corn, he still had consistent work. He briefly became a teacher before returning to acting in 2015. Some of his most notable work includes portraying Cousin Itt in The Addams Family films, co-starring on Highway to Heaven, and as Kipp on Star Trek: Voyager. Franklin also co-wrote Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return.

This pair of actors is truly the only reason you need to see this film. Go in with low expectations, and I’m sure that you’ll love it.

Well, that’s one day down. Thirty to go. Thanks for reading. Look for my second Day O’Horror post tomorrow!

Thirty-One Days O’Horror!

Get Ready!

For the first time ever, yours truly will be embarking on a quest that will see him facing off against some of the best and worst horror films ever screened for audiences! I’ve decided to challenge myself to watch thirty-one horror films and blog about each and every one of them for thirty-one straight days!

I’ll be including classics such as The Wolf Man with Lon Chaney, Jr. and Bela Lugosi’s Dracula as well as more recent films such as Curse of Chucky and The Woman In Black. I’ll throw in some campier fare like Little Dead Rotting Hood and Abominable, as well as spooky family treats like Nightmare Before Christmas and The Haunted Mansion.

I also plan on revisiting films from my youth and my college years such as Sleepaway Camp, The Craft, Children of the Corn, and The Monster Squad. I’m hoping to throw the recent It film into the fray, but that particular film isn’t guaranteed just yet. I have a few days off of work coming up and I might manage to squeeze that particular film into the list.

As I watch each film, I’ll post a review of it afterwards. I’ll briefly discuss the plot and then go into whatever catches my fancy about the film. As of right now, my list primarily includes films that I’ve already viewed but a few will be new to my eyes.

Here is a list of eighteen films that I will definitely watch. These films are not listed in the order that I plan to view them.

The Wolf Man (1941)
Dracula (1931)
Little Dead Rotting Hood (2016)
The Woman In Black (2012)
Ravenous (1999)
The Craft (1996)
The Haunted Mansion (2003)
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Curse of Chucky (2013)
Abominable (2006)
The Monster Squad (1987)
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
Children of the Corn (1984)
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994)
The Descent (2005)
Interview With The Vampire (1994)
Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
Wolf Cop (2014)

As you can easily see, that’s not thirty-one films. I plan on adding more soon, but I’m not going to tell you what they are because I’ve gotta squeeze a few surprises into the fray. To whet your appetite, though, here’s a list of films that will potentially make the list. If you have any suggestions, feel free to list them in the comments.

It (2017)
Critters (1986)
Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969)
The Wicker Man (1973)
The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)
Kill, Baby, Kill (1966)
Alien (1979)
Motel Hell (1980)
The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972)
The Wraith (1986)
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994)
Silver Bullet (1985)
Night of the Demon (1957)
Tusk (2014)
Halloween (1978)

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Starting October 1st, I’m going to be hitting y’all with a new post every day for thirty-one straight days. I might get scared. I might need a friend to come hang out with me and hold my hand. Heck, I might have free beer! Hold on tight, kids, October is going to be wild!

As always, thanks for reading. Like I said earlier, if you have any suggestions for films, let me know. I’ll definitely try to add them to the list. Oh, and I might throw in a few surprises as well like a double feature or special features reviews!

Boldly Streaming

Accessing Space

Sunday evening I, along with many others like me, settled in for an evening of television wonder that we haven’t had a fresh view of since 2005. CBS was granting everyone the opportunity to view the first episode of their newest vision of Star Trek with the premier of Star Trek: Discovery.

The events of the series take place roughly ten years before Star Trek: The Original Series and about one hundred years after Star Trek: Enterprise. A whole new batch of characters will be introduced during the series, with just a few of them getting screen time in the first two episodes.

!!There be spoilers below!! Warning!

Sonequa Martin-Green is the lead actress on the series. She portrays Commander Michael Burnham. Along for the ride in the first episode is another primary character, Science Officer Saru (the brilliant Doug Jones), the always-available-when-you-need-a-Spock-connection Sarek (portrayed by James Frain this time around), and the excellent Michelle Yeoh as Captain Georgiou.

After a brief tease of the new look Klingons (the rigidly talking T’Kuvma, portrayed by Chris Obi), we find the captain and her number one on the surface of a desert planet. Their mission is to pop a hole in a well that has dried up in order to provide a water source to an alien race before they all die of dehydration. This reminded me an awful lot of the Enterprise’s mission at the beginning of Star Trek: Into Darkness where Spock freezes a volcano in order to save a race from being completely destroyed. It also reminded me of The Waterboy.

After successfully striking water, the duo trek off into the desert. Burnham questions the captain’s directions as they appear to be wandering around an awful lot, but they are actually making tracks that form the Starfleet insignia and the captain references it as being a “star” to aid her ship, the USS Shinzhou, in finding their coordinates. It’s obvious that there is a lot of trust and respect built between these characters. This will be tested later in the episode.

As the episode moves along, the Shinzhou pushes out to the edge of Federation space in order to investigate a damaged satellite and discover an unknown entity. In a very Trek-like manner, interference renders the ship’s technology almost useless and Burnham volunteers to jetpack over to the entity and investigate. Realizing that it is Klingon and then realizing that there’s a Klingon behind her as he’s about to attack, Burnham makes a dash to escape and accidentally kills the Klingon.

She is then rescued by her fellow crew members and takes a radiation-exposure forced nap for about three hours. When she awakens, and against the wishes of her doctor, Burnham returns to the bridge to reveal her findings to the captain.

The show then starts to pick up pace and a stand off with the Klingons begins. The Klingons, headed up by T’Kuvma, reveal their cloaked ship and send out a beacon calling for the other Klingon houses to join with them. It’s at this point that Sarek is called upon by Burnham for counsel. In what seemed out of character to me, Sarek mentions giving the Klingons a “Vulcan Hello.” This is an “attack first to establish your role” strategy that the Vulcans began to use after their initial meeting with Klingons resulted in the death of all aboard their ship. Sure, Sarek didn’t technically tell Burnham to use this strategy, but he definitely didn’t discourage her, either. Georgiou seeks the advice of the Federation and it is made clear to her that they should do nothing until more Federation ships arrive.

The captain and XO have a confrontation over what should be done, and in a very hard to stomach way (especially considering how the pair seemingly respect each other), Burnham uses a Vulcan nerve pinch to subdue the captain and makes an awkward attempt at firing on the Klingon vessel which, thanks to Lt. Saru confronting the XO, never comes to fruition. Georgiou appears on the bridge, phaser in hand, reclaiming her ship. Burnham is arrested and then a poop ton of Klingon vessels arrive on the scene and…..you have to pay to see the rest.

I left out the bits where we learn that Burnham was raised by Sarek whenever her parents were killed by Klingons and the flashbacks we get of their deaths and of Burnham attending the Vulcan Academy in order to shorten my summary, but they should be noted here as they are important to the story.

So, what did I think of the episode? Well, to quote Kaylee from Firefly, it was definitely “Shiny.” It’s very obvious that a lot of money (around eight million per episode) was put into the production of the show. The bridge is extremely slick and reminds me a lot of J.J. Abrams’ vision of the bridge from his films (all the way down to lens flares), but it also appears that the maintenance man has been slacking on the job considering how dark the bridge is all of the time. I also liked the overall design of the Shinzhou (but not of the Klingon vessels).

The external shots in space looked brilliant. Heavy on CGI, but still beautiful in their presentation, these shots were some of my favorite things about the show. Overall I would give the cinematography an “A” for a solid job.

The acting was hit and miss. Doug Jones seemed to have a solid grasp of Saru, and portrayed the character as both intelligent and skittish (with good reason). He reminded of C-3PO, but not as mouthy. Michelle Yeoh’s performance was okay, but her line delivery was very stiff, especially during her desert scenes with Sonequa Martin-Green. Martin-Green’s character was all over the place. For someone that was raised on Vulcan, she’s extremely emotional and a bit erratic. Yes, I know that her parents were killed by the Klingons, but that doesn’t explain why someone who supposedly learned so much self control from the masters of self control would fly off the handle and attack her beloved captain. I also didn’t care for James Frain as Sarek. His body language hinted at, you guessed it, emotions, and I just could not fully buy into him as a Vulcan. The Klingons were extremely stiff as well, and spoke as if they were falling down stairs and grunting with each smack on the steps. Hopefully these misses were a result of poor direction and they were remedied in the second, pay-to-see episode with a different director, Adam Kane, at the controls.

The episode ended on a cliffhanger. I’m one of the few people that defended the cliffhanger ending of The Walking Dead last year during the season split, but I felt that the Discovery cliffhanger was a snub at fans unwilling to pay for CBS All Access, the streaming service that will be the exclusive home of Star Trek: Discovery in the United States for the time being. It’s as if CBS wanted to give us a taste of the show in the hopes that we would all spring for the service to see what happens next, but what I saw wasn’t impressive enough for me to take the plunge. I also see it as a disservice to potential new fans of Trek, as they might not want to pay for a service in order to see the rest of a series based on just one episode. Oh, and they only gave us one episode, so that’s what my judgment is base upon.

I have a few friends that paid for the service and witnessed the second episode, but I didn’t buy into the service. No, I’m not one of those old dusty Trekkies that demands that their Trek be free to all and I don’t judge anybody that did pay for the service. I simply feel like CBS is trying to put the success of their three-year-old (and unimpressive) streaming service on the backs of Star Trek fans that have been with the series for a long time. We are all well aware of how loyal Trek fans can be. We know how finicky they can be as well.

There will always be hardcore fans that will accept and love any Trek put in front of them. I can see the CBS heads sitting in a room envisioning the stereotypical Trekkie, living at home with his/her parents, with a pile of cash that doesn’t go to a mortgage, food, kids, or any other expenses. It’s just sitting there begging to be spent on entertainment.

You and I know that this stereotypical vision just isn’t true for most fans of Star Trek. I’m sure that there are plenty of Trekkies out there with expendable income, but I’m betting that the majority of them have a mortgage or rent, a car note, credit card bills, possibly a student loan, children and a spouse, or any other of a multitude of expenses that come first. Yes, it’s just six to ten bucks a month, but $120 can be spent on things that are much more important than another streaming service.

I’ll patiently wait for the series to be released on Blu-ray or on the U.S. version of Netflix sometime in the future. I won’t scream bloody murder if anybody spoils any episodes either. I’m fully aware of what I’m missing out on, I just wasn’t impressed enough to pay for CBS All Access in order to see more episodes.

As always, thanks for reading. I know that many of you have a different opinion, so please tell me what that opinion is in the comments section.

Live long and prosper.

California, 1996

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Under The Sheets

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The Fuzz

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In The Woods

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Eat Or Die

Round 2: Cult of Chucky

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Flying Off Of Store Shelves Everywhere

Spoilers Ahead!

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Somewhere in Rural America

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MALACHAI!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

A Decent Start

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Get Ready!

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Accessing Space

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